THE BELLE ISLE RATS
America's Kings of the Odd Song
Mike Renneker
Tom Saloka
LYRICS
MY ZAMBONI
Why did you have to say that?
Now I don't feel safe
OK so maybe it's true
but I still don't like it
I know I know what I know
yeah I took the classes
I can't believe you disagree
you must be a bad person
I'm gonna ride, ride, ride
in my Zamboni, Zamboni
I'm gonna leave this place and time
in my Zamboni, Zamboni
I’m gonna drive down Woodward avenue
in 1955
give those red neck, white bread,
blue collar punks a piece of my mind
I am a fountain of truth
So educated
Those generations before
were all just a bunch of
Monochrome jerky moron racists
and I know that I’m right
this thing on YouTube proves it
So I'm gonna go back
and set ‘em all straight
yes I am
I'm gonna ride, ride, ride
in my Zamboni, Zamboni
I'm gonna leave this place and time
in my Zamboni, Zamboni
Heading up Las Vegas boulevard in 1962
Tell those rat pack, sexist, misogynist creeps
a thing or two
Down here in New Orleans
We're digging' our own scene
and we don't need you woke folk all down here
We don’t care about your plumbing
We don’t care about your race
So knock that crap off now
or we're gonna shove this clarinet up in your face
“my Zamboni is an inter dimensional travel vehicle that
takes me back so I can tell folks in the past that they’re wrong”
I'm gonna ride, ride, ride
in my Zamboni, Zamboni
I'm gonna leave this place and time
in my Zamboni, Zamboni
Goin' west on sunset boulevard in 1941
inform those toxic, patriarchal cretins
that they’re done
In my Zamboni
In my Zamboni
In my Zamboni
my Zamboni!
BLACKJACK
I swagger proud through the casino
Past the penny slots and keno
Got me a gig up here in Reno
Blackjack!
Never been much of a gambler
I drive a 67 Rambler
But my voice has an awesome timbre
Blackjack!
Everything is going great!
I sing for the seniors from 5 till 8
My fans say I sound just like Frank
Even when I'm tanked
I dream of one day playing the big rooms
With a big band in Vegas playing the big tunes
Hanging with the hep cats and the mob goons
Blackjack!
One day my agent got a phone call
Turns out old blue eyes took a bad fall
so they asked me to fill in, man don't that beat all now
Blackjack!
Oh I'm goin' to Vegas baby!
Yeah here I am living' out my dream
On stage at the Sands with Sammy and Dean
seems like I'm going over well
but I can't really tell ...
ah what the hell
Well this dame comes up after the show, fine as can be
says I really love the way you sing "Come Fly with Me"
so I discreetly offered her my motel room key
thats when a couple fellas in dark suits
started glaring at me ...
soon after I began to wonder
perhaps I'd made a fatal blunder
Then I got whacked behind a dumpster
Whack! Whack!
That was the end of my extraordinary life
turns out the dame was the mob boss's wife ...
they pump me full of lead and down I fall
I guess I'm not so lucky after all
But When they counted all the bullet holes
there were 21 in all
Blackjack!
And now I love performing nightly!
Up here my star is shining brightly
And me and Frank are hanging tightly
At that great, casino in the sky!!
Blackjack!
Yeah, dig it man! Blackjack!
CANADIAN GEESE
Canadian geese on the golf course
Canadian geese in the parking lot of walmart
Canadian geese
they gonna take over your back yard
gonna trap you inside your house
and only those with the long black necks
will decide when you’re coming out
they’re gonna lay waste to your garden
have a field day on your lawn
your patio is now their playground
raising hell from dusk till dawn
Canadian Geese on the golf course
Canadian Geese in the parking lot of walmart
Canadian Geese, hangin' out before migration
Canadian Geese, flying south in V formation
Canadian Geese
It was the night to take out the trash cans
and set em out on the street
but when I peeked outside my window
there was a fat one looking at me
I moved with caution and precision
I knew I had to make it fast
you know I almost made it back inside
till he ran over, flew up and bit me in the ...
GUITAR SOLO
Canadian geese will normally not attack
unless they feel their young are in danger
but if you do inadvertently approach their young they will
advance towards you in an aggressive posture
these geese have adapted to living in modern cities largly due
to an abundance of food and an absence of predators
So I would stay away, so very far away, if I were you ...
Canadian Geese on the golf course
Canadian Geese in the parking lot of walmart
Canadian Geese, hangin' out before migration
Canadian Geese, flying south in V formation
Canadian Geese
SPARK PLUG OMELETTE
I get up, and build a house
I lift a truck with my bare hands
and then I go workout
I wrestle a bear, chop down a tree
I grab a steel girder and I bust it over my knee
I build a dam, I dig a mine
I climb a telephone pole and now
I’m swinging from the lines
I walk slow, and drive fast
I chug a quart of coffee
Then I go and kick some ass
And every morning
When I get up
I start my day
By making myself a spark plug omelette
spark plug omelette
check out my biceps, right here
they’re roughly the diameter
of a rented keg of beer
and speaking of booze, I own this town
Gimme a fifth of Jim Beam and
watch me slam it down
I am the king of barbecue
I will kill, skin and grill whatever
and eat until I puke
I climb Mt Everest, every week
I wear the badge of brawn
and I fly the flag of freak
And every morning
When I get up
I start my day
by making myself a spark plug omelette
spark plug omelette
You can hate me all day long
sing your tender little song
'till something bad starts going down
that's when you'll want me around
Then I get up
and take my girl
I hop in my zamboni
and I go and save the world
And every morning
I start my day
by making myself a spark plug omelette
spark plug omelette
I
NATHAN'S RESEALABLE BAG
Nathan's resealable bag
Nobody wants to know what's in it
Nathan's resealable bag
I'm ok with gross but I got my limits
Nathan’s resealable bag
It's wrong … there ain’t no other way to spin it
Nathan’s resealable bag
Pardon me here I just need a minute
Nathan's resealable bag
I’m not really sure and I might be trippin’
Nathan's resealable bag
but looks to me like maybe it’s drippin’
Nathan's resealable bag
I’m fine right now but I could be slipping’
Nathan’s resealable bag
Looks like it's oozing out and stickin'
Is it a bulging biohazard in a sack?
Or some seaweed/plankton based organic snack?
A glowing, ghastly, God forsaken sludge?
Man I'm at a loss, you be the judge ...
Some pasty, pale provisions in a pouch?
Or assorted odd bits found inside his couch
Whatever it is he carries it with pride
Is it fine or is it foul …. I can't decide
hit ‘em up, hit ‘em up now Nathan
hit ‘em up, hit ‘em up
hit ‘em up, hit ‘em up now Nathan
hit ‘em up, hit ‘em up
Walter!
PIANO SOLO
Nathan's resealable bag
He got on a plane so they had to check it
Nathan's resealable bag
Everybody's day, Nathan 'bout to wreck it
Nathan's resealable bag
People jumpin' off, on the ground they crashin'
Nathan's resealable bag
Nathan just sittin' back in his seat laughin'
BRAND NEW CHAOS!
I am the Duke of Disinformation
The Don of Dumb
The Dean of Discontent
I manufacture stress and aggravation
and every day I get to do it again
I look around
and see what’s good
and then I say
this just can’t stay!
so I create
Brand new chaos
Brand new chaos
There will be no day off
From brand new chaos
I dig disaster, failure and catastrophe
Drama, scandal, disarray and blame
I really love unfounded allegations
If and when the truth comes out well it’s too late
I look around
and see what works
then I decree
this shall not be!
so because of me
CHORUS
we’re the clowns who run this show
and tear the stuff that’s working down
your little toy life
we’ll bend and twist and turn it inside out
Inside out, upside down
Inside out, upside down
Inside out, upside down
Inside out, upside down
Inside out
I look around
and see what’s good
and then I say
this just can’t stay!
so I create
CHORUS
we’re the clowns who run this show
and tear the stuff that’s working down
your little toy life
we’ll bend and twist and turn it inside out
Upside down, inside out
Upside down, inside out