THE ​BELLE ISLE RATS

OVEN MITT

Like Metamucil thru the innards of a senior

Time slips thru my hands

like the slow kids from the 3rd grade, in the school play

I'm not sure where I stand

But I have finally found something

to call my own

 

I got an oven mitt, in a floral pattern

I bought it down at Strouds, mid-town Manhattan

It used to be kinda fluffy, 'till it got sat on  

 

I got an oven mitt, no one can ever take away

I wear it every night, and I wear it every ... day

When people see it on me, they tends to stay away

 

ooh I got an oven mitt, yeah it makes me feel like a man

It helps me block a nasty sucker punch, and make my left hook land

when I go home and make a bundt cake, I never burn my hand

 

I've got an oven mitt I think it's really cool

and I think that everybody oughtta get one now

 

Harmonica solo

 

I've got an oven mitt (he's got an oven mitt)

I've got an oven mitt (he's got an oven mitt)

I've got an oven mitt (he's got an oven mitt)

Wow !

 

Nobody Loves You But Me

Well it's a good thing for you, I like assymetrical body parts

and it's a good thing for you, that I don't mind bad teeth or farts

well you can deny it as long as you want but soon you're gonna see that

Nobody loves you but me (nobody loves you)

Yeah, Nobody loves you but me (nobody loves you)

 

Well it's a good thing for me, you like backwoods, drunk, hillbilly slobs

and it's a good thing for me, you don't mind steppin' on brown corn cobs

You might not know it yet, but soon you're gonna see that

Nobody loves you but me (nobody loves you)

Sayin, nobody loves you but me (nobody loves you)

 

Ooh, I finally found a cupid, whose just as freakin' stupid

yeah, baby as me and you

After all these years of nothing, I finally found a cousin

who's willin' to go on up there and say "I do"  

Yahooo!

 

"He peed on me!" "He thought I did"

"He peed on me!" "He thought I did"

 

"Shelby !"

 

Well it's a good thing for us, there's a Wal Mart down there a block away

and it's a good thing for us, yeah, we both got the same DNA

well I remember what ole' pappy said when he'd threaten the family

he told us

Nobody loves you but me (nobody loves you)

Nobody loves you but me (nobody loves you)

Yahoo!

 

"He peed on me"  "He thought I did"

 

A Similar Bag

Oh, you bought me a gift

to carry around all my crap

and I admired the pockets, the stitching and the soft fuzzy strap

and it reminded me, of a time when my father

he bought me a similar bag

Ooh a similar bag
 A similar bag

Ooh a similar bag

 

Oh, is that your mother in law

dangling cigarette, screaming at the kids

stay the hell off my lawn

and it reminded me, of a time when my father

he married a similar bag

 

Oh a similar bag

A similar bag, yeah

 

Helen

Helen, why did you have to go away? ('cause you're a portly, flaccid loser yeah)

Oh Helen, what can I do to make you stay? (you might try driving off a cliff yeah)

 

Yes it's true that I totaled your car

soiled your couch and rarely took a shower

yes it's true that I never got a job

but I thought that you could see past that

 

Oh Helen, why did you have to go away ('cause you're a boring, mindless twit yeah)

Helen, what can I do to make you stay (you might try moving to Bombay yeah)

 

Yes it's true that I hit on your mom

forgot to flush when I laid a brown bomb

yes it's true, I gained 50 pounds

but I thought our love could get through that

 

Oh Helen, why did you ever have to go (because you're nature's filth)

Helen, why did you ever have to go

 

 

Livin With Your Mom 

"because I said SO !!"

 

Livin with your mom

She cooks all your food for you

Livin with your mom

she's doin' all your laundry too

 

Not a real great situation

you got a degree in communications

veggin' out in the TV nation

and now it's turning into a permanent vacation

 

Livin with your mom, she says "you need to put a jacket on"

("what's wrong with you?!")

Livin with your mom, says  "be careful, don't be gone too long"

(the answer is NO !!")

 

Guitar solo

 

Livin with your mom, 

watchin' "Dirty Jobs" & gettin' bored

(How many times do I have to tell you !!)

livin' with your mom

dude, what did you expect, you're 44 ...

 

"How we gonna end this thing"

"Let's try this ..."

"eh, that's pretty lame"

"Let's do this instead..."

 

That was entirely too complex so let's just end it here

 

"The answer is NO !!"