THE ​BELLE ISLE RATS

The Man Who Screwed Up Everything

 

He’s the man, who screwed up, everything ...

 

I had a job but I lost it (lost it)

I guess they wanted me to be on time

I had a girl but she left me (left me)

somethin’ ‘bout how I ruined her life

I had a nice car but I smashed it (smashed it)

Had a nice place but I trashed it (trashed it)

My neighbors had a real nice party goin' on

Until I crashed it

 

HIs luck is bad and it's just gettin' worse

Seems nothing can escape his curse

He's a sewer gas leak inside a Burger King

He's the man who screwed up

Everything

Yeah, everything

 

I cooked dinner but I torched it (torched it)

and now my roast is a charcoal brick

Ironed my shirt but I scorched it (scorched it)

little black boats pointing towards my neck

 

He's a real piece of work

It'd be a compliment to call him a jerk

His life is a slow moving, crippling stink

He's the man who screwed up

Everything

Yeah, yeah, everything

 

The economy (he screwed it up)

World diplomacy (he screwed it up)

The earths ecology (he screwed it up)

He's even gonna screw up

the ending to this song

 

"boy, did I botch!"

 

Why Can't I Get A Girl?

My stereo's blaring great Rush tunes

and I sprayed Fabreeze all over my bedroom

I got the all time high score playing "Doom"

and my back hair's just been freshly groomed

 

So tell me why, why, why, why, why

Why can't I get a girl?

I don't know

Why can't I get a girl?

I just don't know

 

Well I got my mullet lookin' just right

and my hair gel glistens in the pale moonlight

I got brand new sandals with matching socks

they all know me down at Jack-In-The-Box

 

So tell me why, why, why, why, why, why 

 

I found someone online

She is one of my kind

but then I found out why

turns out she is a guy

Whoa

 

Ooh, why can’t I get a girl?

Can’t get a girl, no no

 

Cat Collector

Coming home from a move on.org meeting

I saw him on the street

I picked him up and I took him home

and gave him a piece of meat

 

Next day after a meeting with my code pink comrades

I saw another lovely as silk

Without a thought I picked him up and brought him to my home

and gave him a bowl of milk

 

See I'm a cat collector

I'm a feline 1.)acceptor  2.) respecter 

Yes I'm a cat collector

and I have even taught them how to sing

 

Tabby is the shy one, who hides inside a glove

Peety is the fighter who still finds time to love

Cali is the artist who paint my life with joy

and Willis is the leader, yeah he's my little boy

 

CHORUS

 

The only thing I hate more than life itself

is people

yeah people

They're greedy and they're stupid

and they don't think the right way like me

Like me

but my cats

are furry balls of perfection

 

that's why I'm a cat collector

I'm a feline protector

Yes I'm a cat collector

I would die for them

and I have even taught them how to sing

("let's hear it kitties..".)

 

Meow, meow, meow

 

 

Carcass Man

Carcass Man, Carcass Man

He can do anything a carcass can

Carcass Man, Carcass Man

Watch him in inaction

and you'll be a fan!

 

Lyin' on the road dead? He can do it!

Stinkin' up the back yard? Nothin' to it!

Attracting a bunch of flies? Got it covered!

Birds pecking out you eyes? It's just another ...

Day for Carcass Man!

 

Carcass ...

 

(Harmonized guitar solo)

 

Carcass Man, Carcass Man

He can do anything a carcass can

Carcass Man, Carcass Man

Watch him in inaction

and you'll be a fan!

 

Corn! Corn! Corn!

"Open up that can, baby, it's time for a little corn, corn, corn!!"

1,2,3,4 ... 1,2,3,4

Whoa, yeah! Whoa yeah!

Gimme some a that now

Gimme some a that now

 

I like it when it's steamed

and I like it when it's creamed

Y'all best leave me be when I'm eatin' my

corn, corn, corn

 

and I like it off the stand

and I always like it out that can

Y'all know wherever I am I'm eatin' my

corn, corn, corn

 

I'm talkin' bout corn (corn, corn, corn!)

I'm talkin' bout corn (corn, corn, corn!)

Yeah I'm talkin' bout corn!

I'm talkin' bout corn (corn, corn, corn!)

Yeah, yeah corn (corn, corn, corn!)

Hey,  Oh I'm talkin' bout corn!

 

They say that corn has the power to heal ya'

Maybe got ... antioxidants and all kinda stuff like that but...

I don't really know

all I know is, all I know is

I just like the flavor of the corn baby ...

 

I guess I'm just a slob

'cause I'll suck it right off that cob

but I ain't gonna share with Bob

'cause it's my corn, corn, corn

 

Well please excuse me ma'am

but I'm a gonna open up this can

and I'm gonna eat, so scram!

my corn, corn corn!

 

I'm talkin' bout corn (corn, corn, corn!)

Yeah corn (corn, corn, corn!)

Yeah I'm talkin' bout corn!

I'm talkin' bout corn (corn, corn, corn!)

I'm talking about corn (corn, corn, corn!)

Yeah I'm talkin' bout corn!

I'm talkin' bout corn (corn, corn, corn!)

I'm talkin' corn (corn, corn, corn!)

Yeah, I'm talkin' 'bout

You know I'm talkin' 'bout

Hey, I'm talkin' about corn!