THE ​BELLE ISLE RATS

Soliloquy

On a bright and sunny day, I only see clouds

of the things I've done in life, not one am I proud

If life is meat then mine is pimento loaf

pimento loaf

my name is misery

 

MY NAME IS MISERY

I am a stick of juicy fruit after a half hour chew

I am the stupid character that shows up in season two

I am an army of mosquitos on a sticky, hot Michigan night

 

I am the hours stuck in traffic on the way to the mall

I am the pressure as you stand in line and wait for a stall

I am the whining of an actor trying to tell us how to live our lives

 

My name is misery

(loser, boozer, stupidity chooser, loser)

My name is misery

 

I am the ant-infested picnic in the sweltering heat

I am the boring double-header when your team's getting beat

I am the phone call to some guy in India when your computer breaks down

 

My name is misery

(loser, boozer, stupidity chooser, loser)

My name is misery

 

All of a sudden, I had a girlfriend

All of a sudden, money was rolling in

All of a sudden, joy filled my life again

but then I woke up

 

CHORUS

 

WILFORD BRIMLEY

Wilford Brimley , Wilford Brimley, Wilford Brimley

 

Wilford Brimley , Wilford Brimley, Wilford Brimley

I believe, he's watching me

Wilford Brimley , Wilford Brimley, Wilford Brimley

Is that him there up in the tree?

 

I am not paranoid, I'm sure of what I've seen

I'm being shadowed by a, B-list celebrity

He's watching all the time, whether I sleep or eat

When I dig in my yard, or when I'm chopping meat

 

My name is Mr. Clark, I am an average man

I take a magazine with me when I hit the can

but now I live in fear and watch my back each day

because of this one thing I overheard him say

 

Wilford Brimley , Wilford Brimley, Wilford Brimley

 

"Watch Clark and watch him close

do you hear mwee "

 

Wilford Brimley , Wilford Brimley, Wilford Brimley

I believe, he's watching me

Wilford Brimley , Wilford Brimley, Wilford Brimley

Is that him there up in the tree?

 

Wilford, Wilford, Wilford

Why don't you just go away and leave me alone

Your hairy mustache really  freaks me out in a big, big way  

Please go home and never come back so I can live in peace

 

"I'll kill you!"

 

LOW RENT GUY

Well I'm a low rent guy in a high rent world

I'm the oyster guts underneath the pearl

I'm a low rent guy, in a high rent world

 

I belch at high class partys

For important meetings I'm tardy

I'll ask you how much money you make

I'll scarf the last slice of cheesecake

yeah 'cause I dont care

 

Well I'm a low rent guy in a high rent world

I'm the oyster guts underneath the pearl

I'm a low rent guy, in a high rent world

 

I fart in elevators

sneeze in your mashed potaters

I talk real loud in public

Call your partner a dumb hick

yeah 'cause I don't care

 

Well I'm a low rent guy in a high rent world

I'm the oyster guts underneath the pearl

I'm a low rent guy, in a high rent world

Well I'm a low ball guy in a high ball world

I'm the ugly dress on the beautiful girl

I'm a low rent guy, in a high rent world, whoa!

 

SOLO

 

Well I'm a low rent guy in a high rent world

Yeah I'm a low rent guy in a high rent world

Well I'm a low rent guy in a high rent world, oh

 

Epilogue

I see the birds, up in the sky

I hear the children play, and it makes me cry

I see the spring and summer turn to fall

and it makes me believe I'm not a loser after all

after all, after all

 

Oh yes you are!