THE BELLE ISLE RATS
America's Kings of the Odd Song
2011 TUNES "Whacked"
Belle Isle Rats works of this era are MEDLEY's (a group of songs) and are meant to be listened to as such.
However, if you would prefer to hear them as single songs, please listen on Apple Music, Spotify, YouTube etc ...
Bad Haircut
There you go lookin' like you just fell
face first into a tackle box
You're a walkin', talkin' Jackson Pollock painting
From the school of soft knocks
Hey man, hey man
I'm talkin' to you
with the bad haircut
Hey man, hey man
I'm talkin' to you, you
Aren't you're the one who complains about the seating
on the lifeboat that just saved your butt
You're in a hallway with a thousand open doors
but then you whine about the two that are shut
CHORUS
You're so crazy
and individual
Just like everybody else
Chump, chump
Chump, chump
ooh, Don't be a chump
ooh, Don't be a chump now
Be a chump, be a chump, be a chump, yeah
CHORUS
You're so crazy
and individual
Just like everybody else
Chump
If Elvis Wasn’t Dead
His girth would be intense
He'd have a list of ailments
He'd be singing "Don't Be Cruel" while he's wearin' Depends
He might be more complacent
Since the hip replacement
Whoa, If Elvis wasn't dead
He'd stand in line for something free
and drive a Mercury Marquis
He might even be a spokesman for the AARP
On a couch at Graceland snoozin'
Computers would confuse him
Whoa, if Elvis wasn't dead
Heartbreak Hotel is now a Comfort Inn
Viva Las Vegas has alot more sin
Rock and roll's been shipped out to the hood
Since Elvis left the building, for good
He wouldn't care about reviews
'cause he'd have an attitude
And Dr Scholl's inserts in his blue suede shoes
He'd show up at the Oscars
In his robe and boxers
Whoa, If Elvis wasn't dead
"take it away, Jerry ..."
SOLO
Well, If he knew how much things cost
It would really piss him off
and if you stopped to say hello he probably tell you to get lost
He'd be the King of all curmudgeons
and he would not be budging
Whoa, If Elvis wasn't dead
Yeah, if Elvis wasn't dead
Yeah, if Elvis wasn't dead
TechnoEnforcinator
He was watching when you told everybody
what you had for dinner, on Twitter
TechnoEnforcinator
He was there when you bragged about your awesome day
on your Facebook page
TechnoEnforcinator
You weren't alone when you whipped out your smartphone
in the middle of a conversation
with a real person
Every use of BFD, LOL and OMG
He was there to see
He's come to save the world
From incivility
He wants to turn us back
into real human beings
So throw your phone away
Shut the computer off
and do it sooner than later
Lest you incur the wrath of
TechnoEnforcinator
He'll make a note of every stupid little joke you forward
and every pet video
TechnoEnforcinator
It did not go unnoticed, that hostile stuff you posted
with your political views
CHORUS
He's coming for you Mac Store dwellers
Got his sites set on every Fry's
He's the masked, tech etiquette super hero
And he wants to send all offenders
to that great die-fi hotspot
up in the sky
CHORUS
Bowl With You
Oh I would follow you up to the Northwest Territories
or any other place like that on the earth
Because my darling with the Judas Priest tattoo
for whatever it's worth
I've a desire that's true
And if you travel to the former Soviet Union
and drink chilled vodka while hanging out in Red Square
Oh my love I'll simply do what it takes to meet up with you there
'cause I just wanna bowl with you
and if you prove elusive I'll hire a private investigator
to help in tracking you down
If you travel down to South Africa
and enjoy a tropical drink on a beach in Cape Town
I won't stop my pursuit
And if you decide to charter a private Gulfstream jet
and head over to the island of Guam
I'll pack my aching heart and expensive surveillance
equipment and I'll tag along
'cause I just wanna bowl with you
You're beauty is so striking
Darling I've got love to spare
and I'll try to keep my mind out of the gutter
But darlin' you can set my pins up anywhere
That turn you made up to Reykjavik, Iceland
in the high speed luxury yacht
almost threw me off of the trail
but ah my love what you need to understand
that I will not fail
In what I have to do
And once I get you back here in the states and we're
enjoying the day at the Bay City Lanes
You're completely free to go about your normal activities
after the beer frame
'cause I just wanna bowl with you
whistle ...
I just wanna bowl with you
Oh How I Love To Fail!
Honey do job, fix the toilet
Who needs directions? Oops I destroyed it
But still I'm smiling
Oh, how I love to fail!
I got passed over, for the promotion
Massive pay cut, and a demotion
But I'm just thrilled to death
Oh how I love to fail!
Success is overrated
Achievement overstated
I've moved to the nation
Of lowered expectations
I take joy in blunders
Pride in being a fumbler
I enjoy a good fiasco
Final golf match, for the trophy
Missed the putt for a quadruple bogey (moron!)
Pump my fist and say Yes!
How I love to fail!
CHORUS
Seems I botch everything I do
No way to avoid it
SInce I'll get blamed anyway
I might as well enjoy it
Gourmet dinner, from my kitchen
But my guests left with botulism
It's just another day
How I love to fail!
Oh how I love to fail!
Oh how I love to fail!
Blow Stuff Up
It all began in June of 1983
We'd stop at roadside fireworks stands in Tennessee
And I'd buy firecrackers, M-80's and stink bombs
When I got home I couldn't wait to try 'em out
But around my house that sorta thing was not allowed
and so I had to wait till everyone was gone
but then ...
Boom, boom, my old gyms socks
Boom, boom, the mailbox
Boom, boom, my dad's laptop
I like to blow stuff up
Boom, boom, the cordless drill
Boom, boom, my moms treadmill
Boom, boom, The Forman Grill
I like to blow stuff up
Boom, boom,
Oh Boom, boom
At some point, on the small stuff I began to sour
So I found ways to get me some more firepower
Now I've got homemade bombs, C4 and dynamite
and now
Boom. boom, the new flat screen
Boom, boom, the Dairy Queen
Boom, boom, the tambourine
I like to blow stuff up
Boom, boom, the neighbors car
Boom, boom the corner bar
Boom, boom, I've gone too far ...
Well the victims all confronted me in court
That's when I knew that my life would be
shorter than planned
and now ...
Boom, boom, my feet and knees
Boom, boom, my testicleese
Boom, boom, my face swiss cheese
They like to blow me up
Boom, boom, my arms and hands
Boom, boom , my thyroid gland
Boom, boom, there goes my ass
sailing thru the air
Boom, boom,
Oh boom, boom
Oh, oh, boom, boom